Today, many criticisms of young people in the West excoriate a self-obsessed, 'snowflake' generation and the indulgent parents and teachers who enable them, cowed by fears of offending, upsetting, or alienating the kids. But, as sociologists Jennie Bristow and Ellie Lee show, the real roots of the problem lie elsewhere. Pressure to positively affirm young people's views of themselves does not come from the organic relationships between adults and children, formed in families, schools, and communities, but from wider political and cultural dynamics that corrode these relationships. This has consequences both for adult authority, and for young people's ability to develop a rounded, grounded sense of themselves.
Strong ties between the generations are essential for inducting young people into society. Today, the cultural obsession with identity incites teenagers and emerging adults to short-circuit the dynamic process of growing up by adopting fashionable badges of self-presentation. But these identity badges stymie young people's access to the intimate, intergenerational relationships that have historically provided the basis for development of maturity. And this process is fuelled by the defensiveness of older generations, who find themselves on 'the wrong side of history'. The result is estrangement between generations and growth in young people's sense of isolation and insecurity.
How can we restore generational health to our societies? In this sensitive, optimistic and ambitiously broad intervention, Bristow and Lee advocate laying the conditions for ongoing conversations with the young that absorbs the necessary friction within relationships of love, commitment, and care. But to do so with confidence requires a cultural narrative that supports adults' ability to say no to our children, with a smile.
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